Wednesday, February 8, 2012

December 18, 2010

Just before Barry and I sat down to write out some Christmas cards last Sunday evening, and I decided to take a Zantac to see if it would help settle my stomach. Within an hour I was feeling like a new person, and I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but Zantac is my new best drug and friend. Why it took me this long to realize Zantac would take care of the excess acid my body produces right after chemo, I don't know. I'm just glad I figured it out.

I knew I could take it as needed since they give me an IV infusion of it before my Taxol, but I double-checked about it with one of the chemo nurses when I went in Thursday for my blood work. She said I could take it whenever, so I carry a bottle in my purse now.

I had the same achy muscles or restless leg type feelings through Monday night, but by Tuesday, I was feeling back to normal, and it has been a great week. I LOVE feeling normal, and other than not having hair on top of my head, I feel very normal. I actually went to the grocery store with Barry today, and that is one of the things I really do miss doing. I've avoided public areas this time of the year as much as possible because there are so many viruses and germs that can be transmitted during cold and flu season, and I don't want to catch anything that might delay one of my chemos. So far so good.

Barry's done a good job with grocery shopping for me, but I always think of something that I forgot to put on the list, and then I'm already making a list for the next week. Today, I just went crazy! Well, not really, but I bought everything we need for meals through Christmas day. Barry pushed the cart and then wouldn't let me get my coupons from the floor if I dropped any. Sweet guy. People kept hacking and coughing, and Barry kept saying, "I'm afraid this was a bad idea." But hopefully, I didn't pick up any germs.

I ordered some new caps/hats this week over the internet, and it's crazy to think of head coverings to wear when I'm not wearing the wig, but I seriously have to wear them. One, it's chilly without hair up top and two, I think it would frighten people if I greeted them at the door looking as if I were Nathan Lane from Bird Cage, getting ready to don my wig for a performance as a drag queen.

I do kind of feel like a drag queen these days. I never used to try to be feminine, because women just naturally are. Without having hair to make me feel like a girl, it's kind of funny to see what all I do each morning to make myself presentable just for me. I use a fruit extract gel on my eyelashes and eyebrows each morning to hopefully keep them intact for the duration of my treatments to keep that element of femininity. I line my eyes with more liner nowadays to help them stand out a bit, and I'm also darkening my brows with a brow pencil to help darken them against the brightness of my wig. This is all in addition to my regular makeup routie.

And I caught someone looking at my hair today at the grocery store, and I couldn't make them look at my eyes, so I just turned away and went about my shopping. Maybe I was reading more into it, but I'm sure they knew it was wig based on how they were looking at me. Eye contact is important, folks.

Anyway, I'm trying to make the best of it all by adding some more head coverings and an occasional new piece of clothing just to make me feel better. I still feel a bit like a drag queen continually changing out my headwear, and Barry asked me why I needed more caps. I told him I just needed them to make me feel better about myself. His response was, "I've gotten used to you not having hair, and I think you're beautiful regardless." Once again, sweet guy, but I think he likes living with a drag queen. Just sayin. =)

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