Friday marked treatment #13 out of 33, so that means I have 20 more to go. That's 40% finished with radiation, and I am literally counting the days until it's completed.
I've said before that I don't feel anything when I'm getting radiation, but the discomfort comes later in the day or several days later, and by the end of this past week, I was ready for a break. By Thursday, I could see a pink rectangle shape from the middle of my chest to just past my right underarm and about an inch onto my back. The skin is still in good condition, and I am applying aloe gel, lanolin and Aquafor on it as often as I can to keep it soft and well-hydrated. Under my skin is a different story.
I told Barry that it feels as if someone has given me an Indian burn under the surface of my skin and up into the back side of my right arm. The problem is, that feeling doesn't really go away. I am doing activities around the house and will continue to do certain things, but being still with my arm elevated feels the best. For those of you who know me well, this has slowed me down considerably. The more I do with my arm that involves much lifting, being out in the heat, having my arm hanging down too much--all of this adds to my discomfort. I'm a bit better each morning after resting through the night, and then I get hit with another dose of radiation which gives my underarm a full, heavy feeling. I can't see that I have edema in my arm, but I know there is SOME fluid because of what I'm feeling on the inside.
Wearing a bra has become uncomfortable, and I have gone pretty much all weekend without one. Not a pretty sight--and after wearing a bra for 40 years or so, it's not in my comfort zone to go without one. I have friends who tell me one of the first things they do when they get home each day is to set those puppies free, but not me! Even though I don't like going without it, I'm having to adjust my clothing to accomodate this omitted undergarment, because even the slightest constriction is causing me tenderness and discomfort. And I've never been one to like "skin on skin" contact, so corn starch is my new best friend.
Based on where I am today with tenderness and redness, I shudder to think of what I will be like by the end of the week. The doctor told me the worst would be between treatments 20-25, and that's nearly two weeks from now, so a lot of radiation to go before then.
I've gone without my wig for a week now, and it feels SO good not to have a "hat" on all the time. I do get a lot of stares, but I've kind of felt like my short hair is a badge of honor right now after having survived eight rounds of chemo and 13 rounds of radiation. There are lots of us out there if you pay close attention.
I took my radiation team some fresh strawberry preserves this week, but I don't think it will mean they will turn down the beam any--they've gotta do what they've gotta do. In spite of radiation, I'm doing okay emotionally, and I haven't been too fatigued, but not being able to move much without discomfort is not fun. And please continue to pray that I don't develop lymphedema. That's a bigger concern for me than getting blisters in the radiated areas.
Thank you for thinking about me!
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