Just a quick note about something that happened yesterday, and I wasn't going to write anything about this, but it was so precious to me, that am going to write about it anyway.
Through most of this survival journey, Barry and Traci have been here everyday, seeing, hearing and participating in what has been happening. Kelsey on the other hand, has been away at school, and although she made a quick trip home for my surgery, she hasn't gotten to be with her Mom much at all. She came home for Fall Break last Thursday, and of course the time flew by. I loved having us all under one roof. All four of us had a wonderful Saturday picking out my wig, shopping and eating out together, but yesterday afternoon, it was time for Kelsey to head back to school. And Kelsey is my organized child (although her college roomie might argue that) and she tends to see little things around the house that need to be done, and she just does them. She made a sweep through the house on several occasions this weekend, and it was noticable what she had done. I loved it!
The way Traci has been dealing with all of this is by calling me at lunch and after school each day, giving me big hugs, telling me she loves me, but most importantly, by purchasing every single cute breast cancer t-shirt she has come across! Seriously, if anyone needs an extra shirt, Traci probably has one to loan out.
As to Barry, I would say that his rock has been shaken, and I'm not completely sure how he's doing inside, but from all external appearances, he seems to be okay. He's done all sorts of little things for me, he's brought me several bouquets of flowers, he's told me he loves me a million times, and he's been extremely helpful around the house, but mostly if I ask him or point things out to him. He just doesn't see what I see that needs to be done. Gotta love him.
All this to say that yesterday afternoon, Kelsey left to head back to Ouachita, and I came back into the living room and sat down on the loveseat. A couple of minutes later, the front door flew open, and Kelsey came through the door looking very upset. My response was to ask her what was wrong, and then the most precious thing happened. She grabbed me and held me, sobbing, for at least five minutes. All I could say was, "Oh baby, I'm so sorry," and we both cried. Nothing needed to be said. Seriously, it was like a scene out of a movie, but this was REAL LIFE and I got to play a part.
After gaining my composure eventually, I told her not to worry and that everything was going to be okay. She said she feels in her heart that I will ultimately be fine, but she won't be here to see how I am each day and to give me hugs and to pick things up for me around the house. I know she feels as if she's abandoning me in a way, but I told her that her Dad and I would be most happy if she's happy and doing well in school. After talking about it for a bit, we wiped our tears and cleaned our faces (even Barry who was crying silent tears behind us). Bless his heart.
Kelsey left for school again. Then she came running back in the house almost immediately, but this time it was because her brand new iphone slipped off her lap into her glass of sweet tea! After thirty minutes of trying to dry it out, more tears and assurances, we finally sent her back to school with the iphone in a zipper bag filled with dry rice. Normally, this all might upset me, but I blame it on cancer. And all day today the phone hasn't worked right, and we've talked about leaving it in rice for another day or so since it will be expensive to replace. Tonight, Kelsey called from said iphone, and so far so good! I told her I had prayed about her silly phone today, and I was hoping it would turn out okay.
I love my precious family.
Wonder if it might help to pack me in rice for a few days? Hmmm.
I get my port tomorrow morning. Say a pray it doesn't hurt and give me grief. :)
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