O dear Lord in Heaven, my PET scan is clear! I cannot tell you what a relief I am feeling at this moment. Ever since my breast cancer diagnosis, I had this feeling of dread knowing that there could possibly be other cancer lurking in my body. Although we did everything in a process of getting rid of the cancer (i.e.: biopsy, lumpectomy and removal of my right axillary lymph nodes), there was still this thought in my head that there might be something else, and I couldn't rest easy until I had the PET scan. For those of you who have gone through this process of dealing with breast cancer, my treatment course has already been pretty whirlwind, so I can't complain about how quickly things were scheduled. I was diagnosed on 9/15, had surgery on 9/27, got my port on 10/12 and then had the PET scan on 10/18. My actual "treatment" begins on 10/28, and I'm saying, "Bring it On"!
I've had some difficulty sleeping at times over the past few weeks, wondering when I had a stomach pain if I had stomach cancer, wondering if I had a cough if I had lung cancer, wondering if my throat had something in it, if I had throat cancer. And today on the way home, I made myself cry thinking, "What if I had cancer of my voice box and couldn't sing anymore?" I'm crying right now as I type this. It's funny what our brains can do to us and the places they will take us.
But I had already decided that if I had a couple of days to process the thought of additional cancer, I would just deal with it. I knew when I had the PET scan that I was doing everything I could at that time, and there was nothing else in my power or control over the cancer. I am thankful now that I DON'T have to process having additional cancer, and I can put that time to better use. I'm about to get up out of this chair and make some homemade soup and cornbread--sounds like a much better plan to me! And Barry said that Nancy Fogleman brought him a Coca-Cola Cake today, so we'll have that for dessert. Friends are such a blessing!
When I got the news today, I was in my office, and I began to cry, and then Tracy Dougherty and I just hugged and cried some more. Barry called in the middle of our tears, and I scared him to death because he could hear the emotion in my voice. Happy tears, though, and from this news, I'd say half the battle is won!
The song Barry sang on Sunday had these words, "When you're up against a struggle that shatters all your dreams, and your hopes have been cruelly crushed by Satan's manifested scheme. And you feel the urge within you to submit to earthly fears, don't let the faith you're standin' in seem to disappear, Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him, Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise, Praise the Lord, for the chains that seem to bind you serve only to remind you that they drop powerless behind you when you praise Him." He had a little difficulty singing, but oh my gosh, it was SO powerful, and he made the rafters ring. He's such a blessing in my life, and I praise God for him.
And to my prayer warrior friends: As I write this, one of my good friends got a bad report on his PET scan today, and I want to lift he and his family up in prayer. David Berry lived across the street from me growing up, and he married Teresa Albritton (my college roomie). David has been battling esophageal cancer for two years, and he has been hoping to get in a clinical trial and has been without any treatment for a few months, which was a requirement to get in the trial, but his scan says the cancer has spread to many places in his body. Please pray earnestly for them, too--the more people praying, the better. You can access his CaringBridge at "berryupdates".
Thank you for your kind entries on CaringBridge--they really do mean so much to me. Thank you so much for your continued prayers!
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